Summer has felt a little different for me this year. My kids are in different stages of their lives now, and I can feel it. They want more of some things and less of others. They need me differently. They’re becoming more independent, more curious, and, honestly, more themselves. And somewhere in the middle of watching all of that happen, I’ve noticed that I’m changing too.
Then summer started winding down, and I caught myself thinking about everything we didn’t do. The places we didn’t go. The plans we never made. The projects that got pushed aside. For a little while, I was looking at the summer through the “not done” list.
And then I stopped and thought, Oh boy, we actually did a lot! 😂
We explored new places. We cooked and baked together. We tried new foods (some discoveries being much more successful than others😂). We tried pottery, had makeup sessions, played video games, laughed, and just hung out, watched their favorite movie for what feels like the 100th time, explored the ocean, and snorkeled. We went down memory lane again and again while decluttering and getting ready for school. We made spontaneous plans and canceled plans at the last minute. And I got to watch my children grow in their faith.
None of that was on some perfectly organized summer checklist. But it was our summer. Then, I realized that I had been looking at it the wrong way. I was thinking about what we had accomplished instead of thinking about what we had actually experienced.
Baking with my kids isn’t really about whether what we made turns out perfectly. It’s the time together and the conversation that happens while we’re doing it. It’s the little moments that I probably won’t remember years from now unless something reminds me of them.
Playing video games with my son isn’t about understanding every button I’m supposed to press. 😂 It’s about being invited into his world and letting him be the expert for a change.
Watching their favorite movie for what feels like the 100th time isn’t really about the movie anymore either. It’s the laughter, the inside jokes, saying the lines along with them, and knowing that one day they may be too grown to ask me to watch it again.
The makeup sessions with my daughter aren’t really about makeup either. They are little glimpses into who she’s becoming, and how our relationship is changing as she grows.
Pottery together wasn’t about being good at pottery. I was definitely not there to win any pottery awards. 😂 It was about trying something new, making a mess, figuring it out, and being okay with not being good at something right away.
Serving our community together wasn’t about checking something off a list. It was about letting my kids see that showing up for other people is just part of how we live. Watching them grow in their faith has probably been what I’ve noticed most. They’re starting to have more of their own questions, their own convictions. They’re not just following along because I’m their mom. They’re becoming their own people.
That’s a strange thing to watch. Beautiful, too.
Because while I’m watching them become, I’m realizing I’m still becoming myself. I think that’s the part I sometimes forget. Life doesn’t stay the same just because we liked the way it was before.
Our kids grow. Friendships change. What we have time and energy for changes. Sometimes even the things we were so sure we wanted don’t seem quite as important anymore, and that can feel weird.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking, We used to do or like this. Or I used to be like that. Or Why don’t things feel the way they used to? But maybe the question isn’t always, How do I get back to what I had? Maybe it’s, What do I have now? Because if I’m always comparing today to some earlier version of my life, I’m going to miss today while I’m standing right in the middle of it.
I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to spend so much time looking back that I miss my kids growing up right in front of me, or look at a changed plan and automatically decide it was a bad one. I don’t want to assume something is less meaningful just because it looks different than I expected.
This summer wasn’t the summer I pictured. But that doesn’t mean it was a disappointing one. It was just ours. And maybe that’s what I needed to notice. I don’t have to make every season look like the one before it. I don’t have to force things back into the way they used to be, or feel guilty because my life, my priorities, my relationships, or even I have changed.
Some things are worth carrying forward. Some things can stay behind. And some things are still figuring themselves out. That’s okay.
So as we move into this next season, I’m trying to let myself enjoy what’s actually here instead of constantly comparing it to what used to be. I’m choosing to notice what’s happening right in front of me, even when they weren’t part of the plan. Because maybe the things we didn’t plan for end up being some of the things we need or remember most.
Doing different isn’t doing less. It’s a gift. A gift to try something new, to see your kids in a different way, to discover something about yourself. Maybe you don’t need to go back after all. Maybe you just need to keep going.
If you’re in a different season right now, I get it. Maybe your life doesn’t look the way you thought it would, or some things don’t fit anymore. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just pay attention: What’s happening right now that you might be overlooking because you’re comparing it to what used to be?
You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just pay attention.
What if, instead of “Why isn’t “…” like it used to be,” you asked, “What can I experience right here, right now?“
I don’t know exactly what this next season will bring, but I’m curious, and I’m choosing to be here for it.
Because doing different is not less. It’s a gift.
With warmth,
Jasleyv
Writer. Seeker. Believer in little blessings.
🌿 Live fully. Be true. Be you.
