Christmas has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember!
From the glowing light displays and beautifully decorated trees to the music and gatherings, my heart is filled with joy. In my opinion, Christmas is indeed the most wonderful time of the year. Nonetheless, it can leave us exhausted from all the rush, cooking, and interactions in between.
My family’s Christmas celebration is anchored in traditions and fun. From church on Christmas Eve to cozy pajamas, late-night gift wrapping, playing Santa, and opening presents during our tea party with cheddar biscuits, my cheeks and belly hurt from laughter, even as I miss extended family. My husband and I enjoy a break while the kids play with their gifts before we resume the evening rush. We are busy, laughing, and dancing.
However, we must admit that when juggling expectations, long-held traditions, and the pressure to “do it right,” we often lose sight of what the season is actually meant to bring: joy, togetherness, and presence. Along the way, we start feeling the heaviness of the season simply because, without mindfulness, traditions can start offering less joy and comfort but more burden and obligation.
What if this Christmas wasn’t about preserving every tradition but about choosing what truly matters to you now?
How to Recognize When Traditions Begin to Feel Heavy
As my kids have gotten older, their opinions matter more and more to me, especially when it pertains to holiday celebrations, because I want them to be happy, plus it takes work! Although we cook some dishes and clean together, Mama still needs to get everything ready before, during, and after. To help lighten the load, I’ve started assigning them simple tasks they enjoy, like setting up the dessert table or helping prepare the appetizers. This way, they feel included, and I feel less overwhelmed by the holiday rush.
Earlier this month, one evening, while watching a Christmas movie together, I casually asked my kids what they wanted the menu to look like for Christmas dinner. They didn’t hesitate.
“We want s’mores,” one said.
“And maybe a light dinner, barbecue?” the other added.
I froze.
Wait, what?
I mean… It’s Christmas! I exclaimed.
My son, sweet boy at heart, replied, “Yeah, something simple, with smores and games. Plus, you don’t need to get too tired. We love a nice dinner, but maybe try something different.
I admired his wise approach and was amazed by his compassion.
In my mind, Christmas dinner meant “our typical Christmas dinner. It meant courses, effort, and a certain way things were “supposed” to look. We could still have s’mores, sure, but not instead of everything else.
But as I sat with their answer, something shifted.
I realized the excitement wasn’t about the food or the fancy setting at all. It was about the experience, the togetherness, the laughter, the warmth of being together, and the simplicity of something shared. That moment gently asked me a question I didn’t know I needed to answer:
“What is the purpose of our Christmas traditions?” I knew the answer because I had felt it before.
One year, we traveled during Christmas and weren’t home. We missed the coziness of our space, the familiarity, and the quiet moments that make the season feel grounding. That experience reminded me that for us, Christmas has never really been about doing more; it’s about being together, feeling present, and creating memories that feel real.
Choosing Joy Over Tradition
Traditions are beautiful! They are powerful ways to cherish and create memories, preserve family history, and give a sense of continuity for generations to come. Some of our traditions are non-negotiables for us; without them, Christmas would feel different, as I’m sure it is the same for many of you. One important checkpoint is that they are meant to empower us, not enslave and drain us. We need to be present!
Choosing joy over tradition doesn’t mean letting go of what matters. It means being honest about what still fits the season of life you’re in now.
Joy is not found in doing more; it’s found in being present, and sometimes it looks like:
- Laughing together about the silliest thing
- Lingering in little longer, cozy moments
- A simpler meal that invites more time together
- Less pressure and more presence
- Letting your kids help shape what the holiday becomes
- Allowing space for rest and spontaneity
- A favorite activity or create a new one
When joy becomes the priority, memory-making becomes natural.
Creating Meaningful Christmas Memories
We, humans, continuously evolve, and so do our needs and wants. When we are in this season of evolution or growth, some traditions that once were crucial to a celebration may be changed or dropped temporarily or permanently. That doesn’t mean we’re ungrateful or doing Christmas “wrong.” It simply means that we’re growing.
Letting go of or even revamping a tradition isn’t a loss. Sometimes, it’s an act of self-awareness and being in tune with oneself.
And sometimes, we just adjust to reality. Like for us this year, it looks like adding a photoshoot after mass and dinner out. It is barbecue and s’mores instead of a full Christmas spread.
My son is the game master, my daughter the assistant in the meal preparation, and my husband, the muscle and the grill master, while we all burn a few marshmallows until we get the perfect brown color, and my daughter screams every time hers catches on fire.
Questions to ask ourselves instead of the typical “What have we always done?”
- What brings us joy and peace?
- What helps us feel connected?
- What do we want to remember about this season?
Your answers may surprise you, and they may change from year to year. Release the Guilt Around Changing Traditions.
The Memories That Last
Years from now, my kids won’t remember every detail of what was served for dinner. But they will remember how Christmas felt. They’ll remember the warmth of our hugs on a chill evening grilling. They’ll remember being heard. They’ll remember joy. And that’s the kind of tradition worth keeping.
This Christmas, I’m choosing joy and peace above everything else. I am adding more spontaneity and acknowledging each person’s want on, not because tradition alone doesn’t matter, but because meaningful memories are built on connection, not perfection.
Challenge yourself to focus on presence over perfection.
What’s one small way you can do that this week?
With warmth,
Jasleyv
Writer. Seeker. Believer in little blessings.
🌿 Live fully. Be true. Be you.
Finding the right balance is always a delicate task.
Your perspective on the matter is nothing but admirable
Hi Ruddy,
Balance is a delicate journey for sure, and your thoughtful encouragement is uplifting. Thank you.
I really love this idea. There are so many traditions that become outdated and stressful, but we just keep going with them anyway.
Hi Beth,
Yes, exactly this. So many things we do out of habit, not intention. Thank you for sharing 🤍
I’m so with you on choosing joy over “doing it right” at Christmas. Barbecue and s’mores instead of a full spread sounds heavenly, and I love the idea of letting the kids shape the day so it feels lighter, and more connected.
Hi Sonia,
Absolutely! Choosing joy over ‘doing it right’ changes everything. Letting the day be lighter and kid-led felt so good.
This was a really touching read. It is such a good reminder that meaningful memories come from intention and connection, not just tradition.
Hi Khoingn,
Thank you. Connection is truly what turns moments into memories.
It really is about joy and peace. We often forget that and get caught up in other things like stressing over gifts.
Hi Melanie,
I couldn’t agree more 🤍 less stress, more presence, that’s the goal.
I’m a firm believer of creating memories then following Holiday traditions, every year me and the kids do something special to make memories and the amount of joy we all experience is “Priceless” and so well worth the time and fun. Jasleyv, I love this because it’s so true and resonate with me as well: meaningful memories are built on connection not perfections…yes indeed
Hi Lisa,
This made me smile 🤍 Creating memories together really is priceless. I love that you and your kids do this every year. They grow up so fast, enjoy every moment with them!
I couldn’t agree more. Christmas and other festivities should be more about real joy than tradition. Keep what one loves and has a meaning, and not just repeat something because you’re supposed to do so.
Hi Alejandra,
Yes 🤍 coming back to joy and peace changes everything.
Thank you for such a heartfelt and uplifting reminder that the meaning of the season comes from joy and connection, not just routine traditions. I loved how you encourage intentional celebration that reflects what truly matters to each family, especially when old traditions feel heavy or no longer fit. This post inspired me to rethink our own holiday plans with more presence and gratitude, making space for both cherished moments and new memories.
Hi Jerry,
Thank you so much 🤍. I love that it encouraged you to reflect and create space for what truly matters to your family.
This was my theme this year. It was the first year I did not over stress myself, did not go broke buying gifts, and took things in to really just enjoy them. It was a wonderful holiday,
Hi Rosey,
Yes, I love it for you. This is what it looks like to live in alignment, less doing, more being, and so much more peace.
This is such a heartwarming post! I really needed this so I don’t lose my joy this time of year. Thank you for sharing!
Hi Ebony,
Thank you. I’m so glad this met you where you are and helped you protect your joy.
Wow, this is a great post. It is a great reminder that Christmas is a day where we should build a good memories and not just a tradition.
Hi Nikki,
Yes, indeed. Building memories with intention is what makes the day feel full and joyful.